One would think, that having a head full of words and a heart full of emotions waiting to burst out, would be sufficient for the words to come flowing like the eternal skies with no borderlines to define it. Staying away from writing for over a year has responded to such presumptions with a simple – think again!
When I got back to blogging a month ago, I was so consciously aware of having so much to say for myself, that I didn’t see the “block” as some refer to it, coming.
Each day I sat down, yearning to pen down my thoughts yet, ended up erasing, deleting and eventually shutting down my laptop. It was never this hard – I mumbled to myself. Sometimes consciously, many times subconsciously, while I tossed and turned in bed unable to unleash the un-resting thoughts and feelings that have now begun to exhaust me.
The good people at WordPress are super enthusiastic at encouraging budding writers with simple writing prompts each day, just incase one encountered “the block”. However, no matter how interesting or insightful the prompts are, if you’ve managed to close down the very point at which your emotions bleed off your fingertips – you could write a million words guided by a prompt and yet, feel frustratingly unsatisfied and damagingly incomplete.
Growth is inevitable. It is existent and prevailing with every passing day. At different levels, with different perspectives and in different forms – we all grow. Those amongst us that are opening their minds and hearts as they grow, are set out on a fascinating adventure. However, some of us grow in ways that push us to close ourselves.
Maybe because we’ve opened up in the past and realized that it isn’t very welcomed; maybe we allowed someone to take advantage of what we released while we opened ourselves; or maybe just that , we opened to such an extreme extent, that closure could only then be found in the shutting down of our systems.
A few days ago I watched someone who is remarkably eloquent and perceptive, elucidate upon the sensitive yet spectacular distinction between art and craft. Art, he agreed upon, was something that was free flowing and meant to be so. Craft, in his rather striking perspective was when you narrowed down your art to a specific point. I gathered from him that one’s craft then, is the most rehearsed and refined version of the art that resided in him/her. However, having acquired your craft and constantly reminding yourself that the same was born out of the free flowing art that resides in you – that was the closed door that needed opening; the layers that needed to shed; the outburst that needed to break through the block that you yourself managed to create by simply locking down your art and chaining it to the specifics of a craft.
When this magnanimous lightening hit me, I looked for the very first time that I had started blogging – my very first official public blog post. I realized how raw and unrefined it was – the irony of how honest and “unblocked” it was, hit me even stronger!
“Calm down”, “Take it slow”, “Be cautious” and the list of firm demands in the form of sugar-coated advices that we receive over time, chains us down subconsciously sometimes….confining our emotions and pushing us to withhold the raw, damaged, imperfect and unrefined feelings that as humans , each one of us undeniably “blocks”, for reasons irrelevant and people unnecessary.
And sometimes, all it takes is a lightening to crack through the block and allow the piercing streak of light to illuminate at its brightest – it sets you free like never before!
For the writer in you, and for the writer in me – “The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say, but that which we are unable to say” Anais Nin.